So…in my rambling sense of disappointment over how the Wings closed out last night’s Hawks game, I completely forgot the most important part of the post: loss candy. Shame on me. The downside for you ladies is that I’m so low in the Hawks loss spirits right now, the last thing I feel like doing is culling through all my old stacks of Cosmos looking for pictures of scantily clad males.
So in response, I present you ladies with both a disappointment (the first of many for those females just now getting to know me) and a challenge. There will only be one loss candy candidate tonight: Kate Upton. She’s everything that’s right and hot in this battered universe we live in, and even my girlfriend thinks her tits look real. She’s also famously gracing the pages of this year’s SI Swimsuit Issue, so this is all very newsworthy and timely.
The challenge to you ladies is to put forth a suitable contender…a proper mate…for Miss Upton. You must come strong here. No random shots of some one-off, has-been Calvin Klein model in a back lit Mexican toilet chamber. If there’s a suitable suitor tabled and agreed upon in the comments below, I agree to feature him once/day for the rest of the working week here on these hallowed TPL pages. If we win against Vancouver, I’ll throw in a weekend of hunkiness. If we lose, the joyride stops on Friday.
We’re nothing if not fair and just.