Here at TPL, we’re always looking for new ways to push the envelop and enrich community experience.  We’ve brought you TP:60.  We’ve boasted about the Helmanity.  We’re leading the fandom-wide push for curly fried justice.  The next frontier is a loose concept we’re playing with now called Production Line TV.  There’s no central theme for TPL/tv beyond bringing the awesomesauce.  We don’t have a storyboard…a pilot…an anchor…charts…graphs…rules.  What we have right now is the beginning of something that should be highly interactive and uniquely front lines.

We’ve already come up with a few ideas for video projects that will roll out over the coming months that will be so hot, they’ll actually remove the panties from your jeans.  And no, I’m not kidding.   We never joke about undergarments around here.  The point is this – at this point, we’ve merely opened up the puzzle and dumped out all the pieces.  We’ve got a stack of lincoln logs.  A box of parts to with directions to a flux capacitor, in chinese, that we’re trying to hook up to our DeLorean.

While we get this figured out, you’ll probably see some random youtube/facebook postings at that fall well short of the supremely well researched, high production value content you usually see around here.  Bear with us.  I promise it will be worth the wait.

To the thousands of Brazilian women who read TPL every day, I offer a brief clarification…and an apology.  Earlier this morning I posted a rather uninspired piece about life as a Western Conference fourth seed.  I like posting on Friday.  Those of you I’ve bedded know that on a typical Friday morning, I get up at the crack of dawn to begin my Friday fitness ritual…one that makes the Siberian training scene from Rocky IV look like senior citizens bocce tournament.  After that, I’m usually so inspired by my own good looks and glistening pecs that I tap out about 1,000 Pulitzer-caliber words on TPL.

This week, I was unable to carry out that Friday morning routine.  The children’s hospital that I’m constructing with my bare hands and in the absence of any public funding needed some extra attention this morning, and by the time I got into my modern-traditionalist office here on the 78th floor where i work…and usually blog…I was fatigued.  I wasn’t focused.  …and I made a grave error.

About halfway through that post, I rolled out the following phrase:

Little Penis (ht: Herm) is more than sufficient as our backup goalie.

In doing so, I inadvertently linked fellow blogger and accomplished swordsman @GuiCalciolari to a phrase indicating a lack of supremacy in the shorts.  Many of you fine ladies have no doubt witnessed Herm’s lovemaking skills in person and dismissed the comment behind my back.  More importantly, several of you already wrote me this afternoon calling me all sorts of names and accusing me of lacking facts, details in my reporting.

Your message was received loud and clear and I would like to set the record straight here on your behalf – Herm is packin’.  I get it.  You don’t need to write in any more.  That phrase was directed at our backup goaltender, Chris Osgood, not at Herm, but I realize that in these international times, Continentals such as myself need to use our words a bit more carefully so as not to mislead or unintentionally malign.

One of you was so generous as to direct me to the Wikipedia page for the now-deceased porn stud, John Holmes…the lead paragraph which was stolen verbatim from Herm’s soon to be released biography coming out later this year (Working Title: Oh The Helmanity!  …a lifetime of sexploits by Guilherme Calciolari).  Given the number of ladies who chimed in with this previously-unknown factoid, I have no doubt that you’re correct, and that we can, for the sake of this exercise, replace any reference to “Johnny Wadd,” “John Curtis Holmes,” or “John C. Holmes” with a simple HERM and preserve the passages factual integrity:

John Curtis Holmes (August 8, 1944 – March 13, 1988) better known as John C. Holmes or Johnny Wadd (after the lead character in a series of related films), was one of the most prolific male porn stars of all time, appearing in about 2,500 adult loops, stag films, and pornographic feature movies in the 1970s and 1980s. He was best known for his exceptionally large penis, which was heavily promoted as being the longest and thickest in the porn industry, although no definitive measurement of Holmes’ actual penis length exists.^[1] Near the end of his life, Holmes attracted notoriety for his involvement in the Wonderland murders in 1981, and eventually for his death from complications caused by being awesome (emphasis, edits both mine).

Again, my sincerest apologies to the Brazilian women in our readership…both those who have proudly shagged Herm and those who will no doubt soon fulfill their lifelong dreams of doing so.