Old school Todd Bertuzzi is interested your thoughts on flawed-but-a-fit.

In the PR business, there’s an unstated strategy that companies  release bad news late on a Friday in hopes that the media, investors and general public don’t notice.  Proving that we’re the exception to the rule around here, as ever, you guys lit up the comments section last Friday discussing the “Give Me Patrick Kane” post. Tons of great points made, including:

Detroit is too damn close to Ann Arbor to keep Kane out of trouble, especially since he spent time there in his NTDP years (h/t Brad and Sunday);

Kane is far too flawed an adolescent and too big an asshole with too bad a track record to get let anywhere near Metro Detroit (h/t Jenemy); and

We forgave Bertuzzi…why not Kane? (h/t Mike).

So where did we land?

Nowhere in particular, but we did start an interesting conversation about how we prioritize players and build out the next generation of our beloved Wings.  Tip of the iceberg, no doubt, but as we go through this offseason, there are some themes here that we’ll revisit.

There are two camps among us: those that think the team is good as-is and needs minor tweaking, and those of us who think there need to be some major changes.  I’m in the latter group, and with that mindset, it’s hard to dismiss at least CONSIDERING what it would take…both from a “moral flexibility” and trade value standpoint…to get a high-end talent like Kane into a better shade of Red.

The latest out of Chicago, via CNNSI’s Truth/Rumor backs up the idea we started Friday’s discussion with that Kane might be wearing out his welcome and could find his ass elswehere:

Some of the allegations attached to Patrick Kane, only few weeks removed from his NHL season, are certainly disturbing. Thus far, there’s no way to know if either of those incidents occurred because the Hawks denied access to Kane, and other efforts to reach him were unsuccessful. Moreover, anonymous sources on a website can’t be assumed to be reliable. Still, at best, the early-May behavior was boorish and should be an embarrassment to Kane, whose image has begun to transform from that of an NHL superstar to one of a punch line. … The question begins to be raised, is Kane wearing out his welcome with the organization? When (if?) he does grow up or instead fritters away his remarkable talent in a haze of frat parties, will it be in a Hawks uniform?

Chicago Tribune

For a minute, let’s take Kane out of this.  Let’s pretend that the little fucker doesn’t even exist.  Maybe Jenemy finally DID get her hands on his pencil-necked ass and gave him the beating he 100% deserved.  By most accounts, we’re still a power forward and a top-2 blueliner away from legitimate contention next year.  The biggest problem isn’t the lack of forwards or defensemen out there this offseson, it’s the fact that there are a hell of a lot of teams every offseason who think they’re in the same boat – one or two trades away from The Team. These basics of supply and demand tighten that free agency market to the point where someone is going to overpay – significantly – for the few truly coveted blue chippers and when they do they reset expectations for all the other FA’s.  They set the price so high that you either have to gut the team to bring in the remaining free agents or amble back to your shanty with the original team intact. On a small scale, this is the system that cornered Kenny into paying Shitbox (that’s what we call Ericsson around here, Dan) 3-large this past summer.

Add it up, and we’re faced with needing to fin compromises this offseason.  There are different categories of compromises, but they all come down to balancing strengths and weaknesses, then placing your bets.  What can you live with?  What can you fix that the other club couldn’t? How bad do you need them?

We’ve got a strong track record in Detroit of finding guys with flaws…guys who didn’t get the “Love and Tenderness” they needed elsewhere…and turning them into legitimate pros. This speaks to the need to actively seek guys with flaw.  Who’s been a pain in the ass in their locker room?  Who’s got a history for acting like a complete bitch?  Who never falls inline with the system?  Who came in with inflated expectations and fell flat?

It’s easy to say “give me Parise.”  Half the teams in this league feel entitled to a player of that caliber.  The difference between Detroit and Toronto is that while we carry that sense of entitlement and understand how amazing it would be to get him in a wing and wheel, we’re open to taking on guys who aren’t the obvious choice…the guys you DON’T have to gut your roster or farm team to bring in…and we actually go out and execute on some of those less-than-desirables.

If you operate under the assumption that we’re not getting both a broadly recognized topline forward and defenseman this offseason…and if you’re of the mindset that we do, in fact, need to fill those positions…what’s YOUR move? Who fits into that “flawed but a fit” bucket?  Who are the ugly ducklings out there who are wearing out their welcome, who aren’t living up to expectations, who we can bring in to fill out these high end forward and defensemen slots?

Better put: If it ain’t Kane, who is it?

I enjoy cruising the Chicago blogsphere about as much as Patrick Kane likes closing time on 25-cent pint night, but I ran across this gem by the guys at Second City Hockey (thank to the WIM fellas) and it got me thinking – what if the Hawks really did want to trade Kane?

…and what if he ended up in Detroit?

Via SSH:

I’d tell you to grow the fuck up, but I don’t have to. The Hawks will. Because that’s the last step before they trade you Kane, and you know they will. You went through this last year, remember? And yet, according to people here and there, everything was handled privately. Won’t be this time. Don’t be shocked Kaner when McDonough or Bowman or somebody stands in front of a bunch of microphones and says something to the effect of “Patrick Kane has embarrassed the organization and his teammates.” It’s coming.

Let me state the obvious up front – Kane is not coming to the Wings.  Even if Bowman-The-Lesser decided to move him, there’s no way he stays in the division and even less a chance he takes the long swim across Lake Michigan to the fertile Michigan heartland.

But let’s just have some fun with this for a minute.  It’s Friiiiday, and you ain’t got shit to do.

Put together some odd semblance of a trade that packaged Flip and Shitbox, maybe a non-Goose prospect, and sent him to the Hawks.  Fire up the press conference with Holland sitting next to a wing/wheel’d Kane.  Hell, even slot him on a second line with Hank and ‘Tuzz.

Could it work?

Absolutely, and the more I think about it, the more I think this would be a genius move.  Here’s how.

Kane is a certified train wreck.  He’s building a cottage industry of public embarrassments for the Hawks that span multiple forms of automobile-centric transportation and his latest spat with a bunch of Wisconsin kids, well-document by the miracle of telephone cameras, looks right inline with what we’d expect:

Patrick, stop being an idiot.  Stop being an a-hole.  Seriously.  It’s enough.  A 23-year-old MAN is not a college student…unless he’s in medical school.  Last time I checked, the only doctor Kane is playing is in the back of a bar…assuming he hasn’t passed out yet.

Those aren’t my words.  Those came from Chicago Now’s Jay Zawaski, but they hit the nail on the head.

Kane is a moron.  He’s totally irresponsible.  He’s a millionaire living in Chicago with access to just about anything he wants, anytime he wants it, and without any of the normal filters…or friends, apparently…warning him to tap the breaks before his absolute gravy train of a hockey playing existence goes all Denzel Washington/Unstoppable.

On the flipside, Kane is also a 60-80 point-per-year forward with a reasonable $6.3 mil/year cap hit.  Both are numbers the Wings either covet or can live with.

Why are we even considering this?  In a word, “skepticism.”

I come from the incredibly skeptical camp on the Parise trade.  Just don’t see any way in hell he comes to Detroit, not with a team in New Jersey that’s hitting its stride and a million other teams willing to pay out the ass for his services.  If Parise goes back to the Jersey Swampland, the Wings are still in the position of needing a significant move in our top six forwards heading into next year.  Like him or not, Kane would be an instant upgrade at the position.

The question becomes his character, namely could the Wings reel in the misfit, get him focused on hockey and channel all that idiotocracy into something productive?

If there’s any team that could do it, it’s the Wings.  An arrogant statement, absolutely.  But one we have a resume to back up.  We’ve dealt with flamboyant personalities before.  We’ve had our share of juggernauts come into town and found a way to mold them into our system.  Most importantly, we’ve got a host of meat and potatoes guys who just traded their skates for suits that might be able to help.

Bring Kane to Detroit and assign Kris Draper to him.  Have Drapes follow Kane’s wanderlust around Southeast Michigan for a year or two…or ten, because there shouldn’t be any expectation of Kane “growing out” of this stage.  Drapes gets to do his Chuck Norris impression, keeping the cabbie puncher in check and finding those rare booze-less moments off the ice to impart the wisdom Kane’s father clearly never bothered to pass along.  Get Patty a home out in Novi next to the Swedes.  Get him out of Chicago, away from the hordes of brand new #88 jerseys, and into an environment where he can focus on the game.

When players go from Detroit to Chicago, they hold serve.  They have a solid regular season, get injured and disappear in the playoffs.  When Detroit takes on Chicago castaways, they find a home, regain their grit and turn into regular contributors, regardless of what their early career looked like.

There’s a lot of Wings fans hoping for a big-time offseason.  The solutions aren’t going to be anywhere near as clean as just snapping up Suter and Parise like a twack of Molson.  There’s going to be some sacrifice…some compromise…some deals where we have to lean back, crack the knuckles, and pray that Kenny still knows what he’s doing.

I say we roll the dice.